Forgiveness

This started it ...

Alot has been taking place within and around me to make this song matter that much more to me. For starters - I keep holding things in to the point I boil. Secondly, I have the tendency to forget to forgive.
One of my strong suits from my past was that I was always so forgiving, I would be able to forgive someone immediately. Today, well today I seem to be picking up those things I had forgiven and using them against those that hurt me. Sounds stupid. But, forgiveness does give you the power to move on, to lose the bitter taste, to be the one freed. It isn't about sticking it in a dark hole and praying it fades. It is about lying it at God's feet, honestly forgiving the person, and moving on. This is what I am no longer good at.
I start a new passage in my life on the 3rd. This new adventure I hope proves to be of good use. I know it will, if anything, give me the strength to face my demons. Wow, I almost cried at writing that sentence. I have so many demons right now I don't know how to smile at the small things. These demons continue to taunt me and use those things I had forgiven as a crutch. I can't seem to let go and let God.
I remember some of the things I choose to not unbury, and I wonder what it is about those things that are being brought from the past that makes them seem beneficial to bring up. There isn't a doubt in my mind that the reason they are reemerging is because of those who have wronged me are still there and I forgot to do one thing. Remove myself from the situation where it only caused me to enter depression. Ironic. Here I am from 18-24 and going in a round circle, facing the same demons I faced in my teens.
Anyways, these two songs on my page are speaking to me. I hope they do the same to you. IT is better to forgive than to hold on, it is better to free yourself from the bitter, and it is amazing when you do feel the release of the anger you carried. Who knows maybe August will bring out a new revelation.
Enjoy Matthew West and Tenth Avenue North


This song brought on this blog.