A Part of Something Else

This week was the 4th of July. Every year my parents throw a huge party at their house, every year we go. This year I did not want to. Why you may ask? Well simply stated I don't feel like a part of the family.

I feel like I am different, more like an outsider attending a family reunion; one where I was the guest. Here is the one photo of me and Tim - taken within 7 hours.

While I was there I took notice to my family, maybe because of Tuesday's session, and noticed how different I was from my family. They all seem so close and as though they know everything about everything. Yet, here I am holding in what I feel.

I was told to stand my ground. I ran. I walked away from every negative look, thought, and feeling.

*random side note - I have 2 sets of cousins from my mother's side of the family. I get along with one side so well. The other - well there is SO much drama that I just keep my distance. Anyway, while there I was talking with my sister and she said she loved the set I stay away from... she said they get her. (My thought was...well yeah cause you are a drama lover) and then when talking about my favorites it was like they were abnormal. At this moment I thought back on Tuesday. They seek the drama to complete them and when they can't find it they create it. Instead of commenting on what was being said I got up and went to my friends/family.

I am not a part of the family I was born into. I am a part of something else. Something I have yet to find. I am not like them. I am different. But the different is not something negative. The difference is in my mind, my attitude, my spirit. I am not measured by my last name.... I am Sabrina Rae.