Faith

I know I am not the perfect example of a christian or of a general person. However, I like to think I am trying hard to maintain the faith that God gave me.

My last post about victories got me thinking. A friend of mine from Texas posted about testifying of God's grace. Another one posted about my sister and the faith that shown through her face. (A lil lady at the grocery store had asked her if she knew Jesus because it showed through her.) Another friend posted about the blessing of a house for her and her husband, others too are constantly posting about the great things God has done for them.

This is my testimony.

2012 has been one of the most trying, stressful, awful years of my life. Yet, it has been sprinkled with some of the most amazing moments I have ever had.

Wedding. The beginning of the year was all stress because of Tim and I's wedding, no one liked the date, no one felt special, everyone had an opinion and ours didn't seem to matter, then Owen Hardt was born... It all made sense. God had a hand in the wedding. Had we kept the original date we never would have been in Texas during his birth and I would not have been there to help, witness, and testify of God's mercy.  Blessing 1.
 (This is not to be left out, during this I found my rock in my friendships. She is one lady who no matter what is so honestly concerned and there for me no matter what.)

Following the wedding we had an announcement that my sister K. was expecting. It was great news, but then with small issues it ended up leaving me jealous. Yet, God gave me the power to let go and see the true blessing it was that she will have a baby girl after a miscarriage earlier in the year. Blessing 2.

Drama. There were issues with past problems that led my sister M and I to not talking, having issues with family members, my turning to depression and therefore not being happy. I asked God to grant me peace and forgiveness for all those involved. God sent me to counseling where I met Marilyn. Blessing 3.

Houses. Tim and I decided we wanted to make our house into a home for future babies and we knew the current home was not the place to do it. With hours of prayer and mediation we felt it was time to move into a new house. Garcy came into the photo, she was able to find us a home where we are so loved by the community and those surrounding us... I couldn't ask for more. Blessing 4.

Church. With all the drama and houses I felt this huge urge to attend church but just didn't think I could. Then Bethany came into the picture and showed me the brotherly love I used to know so well. The day I finally stepped into church was the hardest. Yet, with more help from Jessica I was able to walk in and testify of his brethern's love for all, and the power of promises.  Blessing 5.
(I have not followed through on this 100% but I know God is patient and he knows I will)

Death. Because of my attending church I was able to see those I had missed so badly. Yet, someone was missing. About a week later I got news she had passed. It was one of the most heartbreaking days of my life. She was a blessing to me in more ways than one. Blessing (can't give it a #)

Drama. I wanted family photos made which turned into an awful mess between some people I love dearly. To this day one is not talking to me, one I know is waiting for me to spill my emotions, others are waiting to see what unfolds. I am waiting for God to gather us together again so that we can let go and see the things each has to offer. This is a blessing, I think, to us involved because it is allowing us the chance to truly see one another, to dig within ourselves to find what we mean to one another, and to let one another grow as a single human. Blessing 7.

Health. God has given me the strength to be the person I know he wants me to be. With motivation (J) I have been able to do things I know I never would have been able to do. Along with the motivation, has come a relationship that seems to only grow with time. Although she is not my blood sister, she is my sister. She has always been a strength to me that I can not, nor want to, ever replace. Blessing 8.

Tattoos. I know some people hate the idea of ink, but because of the permanent words you can put on your body some are able to have a daily reminder of the growths they have gone through. I was able to go with a friend and well - it was so nice to be asked to join. The tattoo has a great meaning to her and to share this was simply a blessing. Blessing 9.

Overall this year has already brought me so much joy and pain, that I do not know what more lies in store for me. Yet, I know God sends us angles to help guide us. My angles are many, and I am so blessed and thankful for each one of them. I know as you read this there will be hints of, "why didn't she mention this, etc." Well, the reason is these are the biggest moments, there are sooo many more but then the post would be so long you wouldn't want to read. Believe me I remember the little as well.

Thankfully God has allowed my memory to grow with age, and has added more memories that are such blessings.

This is my testimony which I am sure will only continue to grow as the year progresses.