Private dreams

You know those deep wishes, hopes, and dreams you have? I want to shout mine from the roof. I want everyone to know, but I can't tell everyone.

I guess this is the patience, cart before horse idea. I don't want people to know because what if it doesn't happen? Then what? Do I appear as a failure in their eyes or do I just create a new dream... I would love to say I would not care to appear a failure but I care. I care deeply.

I found myself yesterday slipping and sharing the dream. After I did I wanted to kick myself in the butt. What now if it doesn't happen?? How will I be able to walk to them and say welp, that was a no go?

Maybe there is a serious - underlying issue at hand. This need to satisfy everyone else's image and not my own. Hell... if that is the case then why not shout it.

~ We will be celebrating our 3 year anniversary tomorrow. I have a dream of what tomorrow (this weekend) will hold. Ironic; I can't even type it in a blog. Needless to say I can't find excitement about the weekend because I fear my dream won't come true and I don't want to become depressed. In turn this means I go into the weekend depressed... yippee.