I keep thinking of the simple fact - I will be a momma within 19 days. Tim and I will be parents in a few weeks.
To be 100% honest with everyone.... I never - NEVER - thought I would be a mom. I was going to be a single lady, living in NYC with her cats. Today though, I am married to the most amazing man, I am about to have our first child, and yes I have cats and a dog.
I thank God for intervening in my life and giving me these things I have. I am so blessed to have the things I do. "God thank you for the things you have given and taken from me." I believe that with my whole being.
If I were to be pregnant without Tim being the father I can honestly say I am unsure how I would manage.
Tim is my better half. He is my rock, my home, my companion, my best friend, and my soul mate. The fact he will be in the room while Eddison is being born brings me this calm I never thought I could find. The fact he will be holding my hand, rubbing my back, combing my hair makes me feel at peace with what labor and delivery may bring. He has this way of bringing me to Earth calmly.
There is no worry for what type of dad he will be. He will be amazing. For this, I know he will make me an amazing momma to Eddison. He brings out the good in me. Therefore, Eddison is going to have an amazing man to look up to. She will use him as her guide to finding a husband. For that, I am thankful.
I can not wait to meet her. I can't wait to hold her in my arms and kiss her all over. I cant wait to look into her eyes and see the little girl we made together.
So bring it on Momma title. I can do this. Tim can do this. We will be great parents. (Lord willing)
Monday, August 12, 2013
Thursday, August 1, 2013
Taking it a day at a time.
Life is too short. No matter how you look at it there doesn't seem to be enough time to do all the things you would like to do or are supposed to do.
A dear friend of both my husband and I passed away this week. I am in complete shock and disbelief at how this is possible. It seems like just yesterday he was at our house talking trucks, politics, and food. Then he isn't here anymore.
My heart breaks every time I think of him. He was always so kind, so easy to get along with, and eager to help anyone. I called him the gentle giant. How is it possible he is no longer here? I saw the post on FB from a friend saying R.I.P and I simply kept saying no.
With the death of Bro. Kenneth earlier this month to Dustin's death I am completely drained and my heart is in pain. I don't know that I can handle more grief. I miss them both so badly. Their smiles, their eyes, their way of talking with me. It was like no matter what, when they spoke you were the center of attention to them. Nothing else mattered.
So, how is it these two angels are gone?
Then, I have to witness my husband grieve. It seems he doesn't want to show the pain, but at times he is hit with a wave of sadness. I don't know how to help him through. I don't know what to say to make him feel better. I simply am at a loss.
I truly miss these men. I miss those who I've lost throughout the time I have known Tim. I am so thankful God has given me a husband who knows how to calm me down when I fail miserably to take his pain away.
From my cousin Cameron to Dustin. I cant wait to see you all again. To hear your voice, or to have another conversation. Cameron, Vicki, Kenneth, Karla, Dustin... the list goes on. I truly miss you all.
A dear friend of both my husband and I passed away this week. I am in complete shock and disbelief at how this is possible. It seems like just yesterday he was at our house talking trucks, politics, and food. Then he isn't here anymore.
My heart breaks every time I think of him. He was always so kind, so easy to get along with, and eager to help anyone. I called him the gentle giant. How is it possible he is no longer here? I saw the post on FB from a friend saying R.I.P and I simply kept saying no.
With the death of Bro. Kenneth earlier this month to Dustin's death I am completely drained and my heart is in pain. I don't know that I can handle more grief. I miss them both so badly. Their smiles, their eyes, their way of talking with me. It was like no matter what, when they spoke you were the center of attention to them. Nothing else mattered.
So, how is it these two angels are gone?
Then, I have to witness my husband grieve. It seems he doesn't want to show the pain, but at times he is hit with a wave of sadness. I don't know how to help him through. I don't know what to say to make him feel better. I simply am at a loss.
I truly miss these men. I miss those who I've lost throughout the time I have known Tim. I am so thankful God has given me a husband who knows how to calm me down when I fail miserably to take his pain away.
From my cousin Cameron to Dustin. I cant wait to see you all again. To hear your voice, or to have another conversation. Cameron, Vicki, Kenneth, Karla, Dustin... the list goes on. I truly miss you all.
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