My last first day of classes. Almost seems surreal to think that this time next year I won't be carrying books, notepads, pens, and pencils around a massive campus. Instead I will be working.
Pulling up to the college was a weird feeling. I only thought wow I have never know "the end." A lot of memories take place while in school. Some of which you wish to forget; others will always remind you of the good times. I love that I have been given the chance to shine for my last semester.
I was given an internship that will test my skills in social media, it will allow me the chance to remain a part of campus while not being on campus 24/7. I am so thankful I have this.
The scary thing is the future. It isn't so much scary as it is slapping me in the face. I get to finally focus on my website 100% and hopefully launch it by 2012 - December. I would die with happiness. I pray God continues to allow me these opportunities and chances.
I am one happy college student.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Friday, August 12, 2011
Leave it in the past
Just some thoughts running through my head. Due to everything leading me to wedding bells I have had a lot on my mind.
Problem is I think it is putting a lot on his mind too... I wonder what it is about a person that lets them know, "yep this is it." I know I have some past issues that linger all to close for comfort on occassions but they reside as reminders of what I was and lost.
He is none of the evil that was my life. He is the good, the other half of me. I have had these dreams for the past week about exes and the relationships I had. I know some people thought I would end up with one of them. I never thought I would.
These dreams are like a reminder of what he means to me. How his compassion, calm, sincerity, and love are what keeps me going from day to day. I truly am blessed to come from the past I had to the future I am embracing.
All blah blah aside - my point is don't dwell in the past. There is a reason it is called the past. It made you who you are, but it does not define you. Those things are there to allow you to realize the growth you have taken part of.
God bless the past and future.
Problem is I think it is putting a lot on his mind too... I wonder what it is about a person that lets them know, "yep this is it." I know I have some past issues that linger all to close for comfort on occassions but they reside as reminders of what I was and lost.
He is none of the evil that was my life. He is the good, the other half of me. I have had these dreams for the past week about exes and the relationships I had. I know some people thought I would end up with one of them. I never thought I would.
These dreams are like a reminder of what he means to me. How his compassion, calm, sincerity, and love are what keeps me going from day to day. I truly am blessed to come from the past I had to the future I am embracing.
All blah blah aside - my point is don't dwell in the past. There is a reason it is called the past. It made you who you are, but it does not define you. Those things are there to allow you to realize the growth you have taken part of.
God bless the past and future.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Life Lesson - GO
You know when people suggest going somewhere and you think yeah...but no. DON'T. Just go. I mean what is the harm in going, you may not enjoy yourself?
I have seen this numerous times in my own life. I have the tendency to say no before even thinking something may be worth my time. If it seems like I won't like it then no one can change my mind. In doing so, I have lost out on a lot of fun, exciting, and life changing events. One was just recently.
After I found out the "real" reason behind the trip I felt like poo for saying no. I lost out on something I have been waiting to happen. All because I thought someone else was joining, I was too tired, and I just did not want to drive. Sucks looking back on it now (another life lesson).
Don't look back. Keep moving forward. Allow yourself to embrace the "Suck" for a moment and you will see the awesome that will unfold.
I do wish someone would have slapped me and said hey... GO! Maybe next time. I just pray I get another chance to have this "trip" happen again. I want it so bad, I wish I had more patience.
I have seen this numerous times in my own life. I have the tendency to say no before even thinking something may be worth my time. If it seems like I won't like it then no one can change my mind. In doing so, I have lost out on a lot of fun, exciting, and life changing events. One was just recently.
After I found out the "real" reason behind the trip I felt like poo for saying no. I lost out on something I have been waiting to happen. All because I thought someone else was joining, I was too tired, and I just did not want to drive. Sucks looking back on it now (another life lesson).
Don't look back. Keep moving forward. Allow yourself to embrace the "Suck" for a moment and you will see the awesome that will unfold.
I do wish someone would have slapped me and said hey... GO! Maybe next time. I just pray I get another chance to have this "trip" happen again. I want it so bad, I wish I had more patience.
Monday, August 1, 2011
Past meet the future
Many of my friends are either married, engaged, pregnant, or both...this leaves me wondering what will be my future.
Will I get to be the girl who gets all eyes on her? Do I want all eyes on me? Growing up; my mom would say I wanted attention, I wanted to be loved, I wanted to find someone who would have only eyes for me. I never craved the general attention.
As I got older and a lot of attention came my way I got more and more self-conscience about what I looked like, etc. Then it was taken from my, my name was slammed around the church and no one saw me the way I had seen myself. It took me almost 3 years to finally snap away from the illusion the rumors had started. I could finally look at myself with the admiration I once had (when I was young).
Today, at the tender age of 23, I can look at myself and feel good about who I am and why I am. Yes, it is still hard for me to walk into a church where all they know are the rumors and don't ask for answers. But, I can walk into the church with my head held high knowing the truth and knowing who I am.
I have been lucky enough to find someone who loves me...all of me. I had the illusion sex was simply for the male. I had thought sex was nothing to be cherished, I thought it was simply something you HAD to do to keep a guy. I WAS WRONG! He has made me open my eyes.
Sex is a sharing of love, of spirit and of soul. It is the connection between two people that only God can take away. I cried (tears of happiness). I found what everyone else had been talking about.
We are currently talking marriage. I was worried about the name change, loss of idenity, blah blah. Now, I can't wait to start this new chapter. This chapter of love, honesty, and happiness. I see this marriage as a way to complete the connection, to truly show the love we have for one another.
He is my soul mate, he is my one and only. I thank God he is a part of my life, that he was an answer to my prayers, and that he has remained so since the day I met him.
I love you!
Will I get to be the girl who gets all eyes on her? Do I want all eyes on me? Growing up; my mom would say I wanted attention, I wanted to be loved, I wanted to find someone who would have only eyes for me. I never craved the general attention.
As I got older and a lot of attention came my way I got more and more self-conscience about what I looked like, etc. Then it was taken from my, my name was slammed around the church and no one saw me the way I had seen myself. It took me almost 3 years to finally snap away from the illusion the rumors had started. I could finally look at myself with the admiration I once had (when I was young).
Today, at the tender age of 23, I can look at myself and feel good about who I am and why I am. Yes, it is still hard for me to walk into a church where all they know are the rumors and don't ask for answers. But, I can walk into the church with my head held high knowing the truth and knowing who I am.
I have been lucky enough to find someone who loves me...all of me. I had the illusion sex was simply for the male. I had thought sex was nothing to be cherished, I thought it was simply something you HAD to do to keep a guy. I WAS WRONG! He has made me open my eyes.
Sex is a sharing of love, of spirit and of soul. It is the connection between two people that only God can take away. I cried (tears of happiness). I found what everyone else had been talking about.
We are currently talking marriage. I was worried about the name change, loss of idenity, blah blah. Now, I can't wait to start this new chapter. This chapter of love, honesty, and happiness. I see this marriage as a way to complete the connection, to truly show the love we have for one another.
He is my soul mate, he is my one and only. I thank God he is a part of my life, that he was an answer to my prayers, and that he has remained so since the day I met him.
I love you!
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