If you could ask God anything....

I was asked this question on Saturday. "If you could ask God anything, what would you ask?"

I almost started to cry. I had always though it would be about Tim and I being parents, but when I was asked that. I immediately went with my sister. I would ask God why she is in so much pain, and why I can't take it from her.

We are not super close, yet we aren't completely separate either. Her pain is still my pain and I hate that she is dealing with so much. She has so many things going for her but with the pain she is in I know it has to be hard every day to simply walk. Her back pain is so completely heartbreaking. God I know you can hold her in your hands and I pray everyday you do so. Even if for a moment, ease her pain.

A lot of people are asking when Tim and I will have a baby... and honestly I am not 100% sure if I am ready to be Momma. I love Aunt Rina!

Yet, here are those people in the world who may not be able to have a child and I am healthy as a horse in that department. How unfair is that? So, God why?

I would love to take these pains from people and carry them as my own. I would love to say give them to me.

A friend of mine was telling me how she would love to be a seragate for women who can't have children because she had an easy pregnancy and delivery. The admiration I had for her was stunning. I wanted to hug her and congratulate her for being so selfless. Where I am honestly selfish.

But this is what choked me up.
I know God has a plan for everyone. We may see the dark of it now, but once it is finished there is a great light. It takes great faith to hold fast to this promise and it scares me to think I may not be able to. Or I may fall short.

I was told I have a lot to overcome before I am finished. I have no idea what it is but I hope I cope with it the way my sister has. She is so happy all the time, and when she is sad it doesn't seem to last for long (on the exterior). I am beyond proud of her faith, her resilience to the evil, and her power to believe in life. God my question is now, Will I be like that?



This song just happened to pop into my head - sounds about right with the emotions I have.