Faith

These past few weeks I continue to focus on the word faith. I know faith has the power to move mountains and I know the healing it can do. I think on the times when our faith is tested and how we react. There are many times when I fail to allow my faith the chance to shine - then there are others that my faith is the only thing working.

I have two friends who have been on my mind every night. One - trying to have a child. The other - a month + behind her due date. I continue to think of their faith in these situations. I continue to pray their faith does not diminish because of these events. God has a time and a reason for everything.

If caught in either situation, I pray I would have the faith to keep God close at hand. I pray those around me would continue to be reminded of the faith and the power God has. After the events that I have been able to attend I know God has the greatest power of all. A miracle of birth is one of the greatest things. To have the faith to wait patiently for his plan is something not many can have. I know my dear friends are two of the strongest women for not allowing the evil to set in their hearts.

You ladies are an inspiration to my faith and many others witnessing your life. I pray God continues in your journey and continues to give you the strength, peace, and happiness you both so deserve.

God bless.

It happened for a reason

Two months ago a beautiful baby boy, Owen Wayne, was born and I was in the room holding his mothers hand. Two months ago I was supposed to be walking down the isle to my husband. 7 months ago my plans changed.

Tim and I decided many years ago we would get married on May 17th. When he proposed we didn't even have to think about the day; it would be May 17th. Yet, my family decided that was not a good day for them. I then became very bitter towards my family. How selfish of them to tell me MY wedding date was not good for them. It was not about them... Tim and I had to mad dash to our venue and see what other days were available... March 3rd was. We decided to move the date in hopes it would be more accommodating to others. It still wasn't... oh well.

This weekend I had the pleasure of having Owen his momma, Amanda, his aunts Jessica and Taylor at my house. As we were talking about the wedding and married life Amanda told me she was so happy to hear the wedding date was changed from May to March. She had not told anyone of her pregnancy when we had announced our engagement and when she heard May she knew she would not be there....

I said I don't get it. She explained had our wedding been in May 1. I would not have been in Texas to help in the delivery of Owen 2. She would not have come to the wedding 3. God had his hand in it.

As I sat there digesting what she was saying I realized all the anger at my family was misplaced. God had moved my wedding date so I would be in Texas, he took my wrist pain the day of Owen's birth so I could hold up his mom, he allowed me to experience the miracle of birth so my fear would be no more. God is amazing and with out Amanda sharing that I do believe I would never be able to appreciate the wedding date of March 3rd.

So thank you God, Amanda, and this amazing miracle baby - Owen Wayne!

Color Me Rad

This weekend was AWESOME! I ran a 5k with some amazing people. The 5k was a color run. You are covered in colored corn starch at the end of the run. It can only make you smile. The run made me thankful for my health, friends, and life. Without the small things we don't have much. These runs I have been doing are a chance to bring me closer to all those small things. I can't wait for my future runs! :)

Enjoy the photos!



Brooke, James, Tim, me, and Linds



 

Breakthru

Last night on my way home from a shopping trip to Home Depot and Target, with my sister, a song came on the radio... Tenth Avenue North - Losing. I sang the words as loud as possible while praying. I need to take into my heart the words of the song.

I was told to "flush the shit."  I used to be amazing at forgiveness, I let bitterness take over and I really want to flush it.

I decided last night with the help of the songs lyrics to truly let go, and let God. God is always there to help it is us who forget to take our troubles to him and to honestly give them to him to handle. We aren't always strong enough to do it alone.

Take a moment - read these lyrics, take them into your heart, let go of the bitter you are holding. Forgiveness doesn't always help the one who hurt you, it will however make you feel better.

Because like the song says, without forgiveness you will feel like the one losing! Let go... it's okay.

Tenth Avenue North - Losing:

I can't believe what she said
I can't believe what he did
Oh, don't they know it's wrong?
Don't they know it's wrong?

Well maybe there's something I missed
But how could they treat me like this?
It's wearing out my heart
The way they disregard

Oh, Father won't You forgive them?
They don't know what they've been doin' (oh no)
Oh, Father, give me grace to forgive them
Cause I feel like the one losin'

It's only the dead that can live
But still I wrestle with this
To lose the pain that's mine
Seventy times seven times

Lord it doesn't feel right
For me to turn a blind eye
But I guess it's not that much
When I think of what You've done.
This is love. This is hate.
We've got a choice to make

Why do we think that hate's gonna change their heart?
We're up in arms over wars that don't need to be fought
But pride won't let us lay our weapons on the ground
We build our bridges up, but just to burn them down
We think pain is owed apologies and them it'll stop
But truth be told it doesn't matter if they're sorry or not
Freedom comes when we surrender to the sound
Of Mercy and Your Grace, Father, send Your angels down (singin')

Oh, Father, won't you forgive them?
They don't know what they've been doing (oh, no)
Oh, Father, give me grace to forgive them
Cause I feel like the one losing
I feel like I've been losing

Oh, Father, give me grace to forgive them
Cause I feel like the one losin'

A Part of Something Else

This week was the 4th of July. Every year my parents throw a huge party at their house, every year we go. This year I did not want to. Why you may ask? Well simply stated I don't feel like a part of the family.

I feel like I am different, more like an outsider attending a family reunion; one where I was the guest. Here is the one photo of me and Tim - taken within 7 hours.

While I was there I took notice to my family, maybe because of Tuesday's session, and noticed how different I was from my family. They all seem so close and as though they know everything about everything. Yet, here I am holding in what I feel.

I was told to stand my ground. I ran. I walked away from every negative look, thought, and feeling.

*random side note - I have 2 sets of cousins from my mother's side of the family. I get along with one side so well. The other - well there is SO much drama that I just keep my distance. Anyway, while there I was talking with my sister and she said she loved the set I stay away from... she said they get her. (My thought was...well yeah cause you are a drama lover) and then when talking about my favorites it was like they were abnormal. At this moment I thought back on Tuesday. They seek the drama to complete them and when they can't find it they create it. Instead of commenting on what was being said I got up and went to my friends/family.

I am not a part of the family I was born into. I am a part of something else. Something I have yet to find. I am not like them. I am different. But the different is not something negative. The difference is in my mind, my attitude, my spirit. I am not measured by my last name.... I am Sabrina Rae.