May 20th

You know that moment where you know your life is about to change completely? May 20th was that moment.

I sat at work when the storms came in and heard a clap of thunder and immediately thought that sounds bad. I called Tim (he was on his motorcycle because he had a bike class to teach) and told him he needed to head home before the storms hit. Within 2 hours everything was changed.

Cell service was down, an F5 had just ran through my home, and I had yet to hear from my husband. Every fear as a wife hit. Then I thought of my sister and her 3 kids and panicked.

I left work early and couldn't reach anyone to let them know my status or find out the status of anyone I love. As I drove through the devastation I was sickened. What once was the peaceful, beautiful town I called Moore was now a field full of debris. It was hard to remain calm, not knowing how my own home was.

5 hours I sat in my car, surrounded by the damage. For 5 hours I was completely selfish.

My body hurt, I was hungry, and I had to pee. Instead of looking at the damage and thinking Dear God watch them, I became bitter and selfish because I had no idea what I had or didnt' have. For that I was changed again.

I heard a news story while I waited and I cried. God was not the cause of the damage but he would be our saviour through it. I prayed for those who lost, I prayed for those who died, I prayed for those who had the same heart I had just had.

When I got home I laid in my bed, under a roof, with all my loved ones and thought. Thank you God for protecting us, but please wrap your arms around all those without a bed or roof.

Losing something is hard. Losing your home is hard. Losing what you thought was safe is hard. I can't begin to describe the sadness I feel for the citizens of Moore, Shawnee, Carney, etc. Rebuilding will take a long time, but I have seen the goodness in the people surrounding those communities.

I have seen the hearts of men turned. There is so much love and support that this rebuild can only make us stronger. We are Oklahomans, we are Moore. We will make it through and throughout it all we will come out the other end stronger, bigger, and closer.

I pray God continues to protect, hold, and bless his people. I pray those families that lost their loved ones know the world is praying for comfort, that they are in the thoughts of everyone.

The stories we will have for our children, and the stories our children will have in years to come will be what defines us. It will be what makes us look up and say, "Yes, I am an Oklahoman. I love our state, our people, our community, our family."

Happy Birthday

A year ago today I was blessed to be at the home of a dear friends and be able to assist in the delivery of her baby.

This guy......

I was also blessed with being at his first birthday party. As I was there I looked around at all the people I have come to call family. I was overcome with happiness for those I had grown to know and love.

Owen will grow up in a community where he will be looked out for and loved always. There is no doubt in my mind that God is and always will work with him.

Happy birthday little man!!!!!

Changes

A lot changes as we grow and mature. Some things seem to happen over night, while others seem to take years.

A co-worker and I were discussing mother/daughter relationships. Her daughters little girl has been on a constant, "I hate you." battle with the momma. We started to talk about how daughters seem to go through those phases.

It made me so sad. What if this baby is a girl and I have to endure what I put my mother through? I want so badly to change the past and the way I treated my mother, but I know I can not. I am sure my mother could share the stories of the awful that was our relationship as I was a teen. Luckily we have come to a point in life where she is my best friend.

My co-worker shared a story of how she found a photo of herself that had the face poked out. I wanted to cringe. I had done something similar to a photo of my mom and I my senior year.

So, what is it that flips the switch? What makes us women go from mommas little girl, evil daughter, to best friends? Granted, not everyone does this... but for the ones that do I have to say how thankful I am to have my mother as a best friend even though I was not nice.

Seeing how Mother's Day is Sunday - let's take the time to tell our mothers how thankful we are for them, how much they mean to us, and how blessed we are to be their child.

Momma, you and I talked about it already - but I love you to the moon and you are truly my hero! I love you and happy early mothers day!